Throughout our journey in life, we keep getting into incidents, situations, circumstances, relations… etc. Some things don’t always go the way we wanted, or don’t always end the way we hoped for. These “what ifs” and loose ends are burdens that we carry around without even realizing it, they heavy our souls, disturb our peace every now and then and have us overthinking everything over and over again. Distraction might help but unless we pour out our frustration somehow and get rid of that burden it’ll keep getting back to us and sometimes it might even totally ruin our lives. So here are some ideas about what we can do to alleviate these burdens and move on with our lives with a light heart.

Sometimes what makes it harder is thinking that what we feel is not valid or that what happened does not worth all that sorrow and pain we’re experiencing, thinking that there are bigger problems in the world or that it could’ve been worse, well there are always bigger problems and it could have been worse but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have the right to feel deeply and to get hurt, we’re only humans and we’re not the same, our bearing is not the same and what might seem easy for someone can be really tough for another and vice-versa. So allow yourself to feel whatever you’re truly feeling, acknowledge your emotions and accept them, give yourself the right to grief and the time for it, but suppressing your feeling or denying them or even thinking that it’s not worth it will only make it worse and will not make the pain go away.

The need for a closure and not getting it keeps us on the wait; it keeps us wondering and asking questions and even waiting for everything to change and go the way we wanted at first place, but we can’t keep waiting forever, we can’t stop our lives at that one thing that went wrong, disappointed us and caused us such pain, so if you didn’t get a fair or satisfying closure try to find one or even make your own. For example, if there is something that can be said; an apology, a blame, an explanation, expressing how they made you feel… etc. just get it off your chest, say it then let go, don’t wait for an answer, if saying it directly to that one person will make things worse then write it down and maybe burn that paper after, the important thing is to let out in any possible way. But if there’s nothing to say or do then try to change your perspective towards the whole situation, I’m sure you can find at least one good reason why it had to be and end that way. In all cases, never wait for someone to give you your closure, never wait for an apology or for someone to make you feel better, remember that you must write your own ending of events, you get your closure when you decide to get it, and you get your closure when you decide that “it’s over”.

Keeping a journal and writing down all our feeling and emotions and telling everything that happen and trouble us or affect us in any possible way is a great way for emotional catharsis and pouring out negative feelings, incidents that we don’t feel comfortable talking about and situations that upset us, that’ll help analyzing all of this somehow until it no longer feels that heavy or that big, it will simplify things and make it better to get over it. You’d be surprised how it’ll make you feel after and what things you will figure out; it’ll allow you to see different perspectives and other sides to every story, it will also let you better understand the way you feel and why you feel it.

Last but not least, if you ever felt that whatever you’ve been through is so hard to accept or deal with, you can always seek professional help and talk to a psychiatrist, and be sure that there is no such thing as a small problem or an unimportant matter, as long as it’d disturbing you and affecting your daily life and performances it is big and it deserves to be treated in a healthy and an appropriate way.
In the end, it is our right as much as our responsibility towards ourselves to care for our mental health, to deal with our emotions and feelings in a proper and healthy way, and therefore to have a peaceful mind and seek a happier life.